massu soooo cuteeeee

まあ、ね!

Well, I suppose I didn't keep up with my promise to keep this going. LOL.
Recess week is drawing to an end :( I wish its recess month! :(
  • Current Music
    You Can't Stop the Beat - Glee/ My Favourite Things - Sound of Music
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La musique!

No, I don't listen to the latest hits or know the hottest new stars or shows.
I like my Studio Ghibli and Disney very much, thank you very much. And yes, at age twenty. :)
Oh and I love Musicals, Vocal performances (this is why I love Glee) and Orchestra music very much. They too, bring me to different worlds! and they keep me dreaming.

Now, don't you think songs like "Defying Gravity" and "Part of your World" much more uplifting and encouraging than songs about clubbing, sex and whatever lousy lyrics on 80% of new songs out there? Of course, there are some nice new songs too...And no, I am not counting in jpop (or Asian pop in general cause well, there are nice and cute chinese songs too, korean too), I like my tegomasu/news very much still. Hahha! xD


Not forgetting, ze lovely praise & worship songs of course. :)
  • Current Music
    Stroll through the Sky - Howl's Moving Castle
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Escapism, perhaps?

At times like this I really want to watch a Studio Ghibli or Disney movie.
Simply because they bring me to a different world. :}
Yes, I just want to escape from the pressures, demands and stresses of this world.
At least, let me have time with my God! Yet, I am so tired I can't even focus. :(

And I just wasted time posting this.
But I needed to get it out!
  • Current Music
    One Summer's Day - Spirited Away
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massu pretty

its a sabbath week :)

The night of the day that mummy and my brother went back (yes they came, for 1 week exactly), I got fever. And on-off headaches since before and after the fever, backaches and sore throat. And so with all these ailments, I am not exactly able to study to the best of my ability. But I suppose because of these ailments, I was granted more rest at last.

I finally took up the book I started but never got to progress on. (How to Have a Mary Heart in a Martha World, belonging to tracy) From there, Jesus seemed to say: "Mila, mila. You are anxious and worried about many things. Come to me and I will give you rest. Take my yoke for it is easy and my burden is light."

Just this morning I was reading the story of the man who was given the task (by God) to bring a wheelbarrow containing 3 rocks up to the mountain. Along the way though, the wheelbarrow gets cluttered with many many things, light and heavy from helping with the burdens of others. As the wheelbarrow gets heavier, the man's joyful and thanksgiving heart is replaced with bitterness, whines and complaints. God then came to meet him and said that all He wanted was for him to carry his own burden. Of course its good to help, but don't do what is too much for you. God never gives more than what you can bear. And leaving all the the things behind, he went on, up to the mountain with only the 3 rocks in his wheelbarrow.

I suppose I have to learn from that. :) I must learn not to keep saying yes and okay to everything. There is a need to keep my spiritual being in check, or I'll end up bitter and blaming God.

As of today, I am 85% recovered (still have sore throat and a bit of headache today, though yesterday I was perfectly fine) and as I recover, I think my spiritual being is also recovering. I do believe that as I recover spiritually, slowly, other aspects of my life will recover too.

Truth to be told, I secretly think I have depression when I am alone. HAHAH. When my family went back, I came home and I finally don't have to hold on to my tears of stress and bitterness anymore and I cried all I want and can. HAHAH. I have been holding it back because I don't want my mummy to fuss.

I have been very unhappy with myself. Feels insecure about appearance, feels fat (but I still want to eat anyway and I abhor it when people judges people who eat at night whenever they are hungry. YES, I am that kind of person but I'd rather go to sleep happy and satisfied than starve myself, thank you very much) feels that my hair is terrible, my complexion terrible, lazy to dress up to school and so feels insecure at times (but I still don't want to dress up too nicely for school because if I dress nicely for school, then the special days to dress up won't be special anymore).

I have been unhappy with others, and bitter that some people are blessed yet they don't see it and keep complaining some more, rubbing my lousiness of my school work at my face. not just school work though, have been unhappy with how some people are.

I have been unhappy with the state of my family, to the extent of bitterness to God. how I can't communicate well with them no matter how much I try. how I cannot have a normal family lifelihood cause their life is there and mine here. its very painful and saddening.

and I have been very very stressed about my studies. God knows how horrendous my GPA is and so I really plan to do well, I plan to really study hard this sem and pull my meagre GPA up. but then I need to do this, do that, go here, go there, there is hardly any time to study! and when I finally have time, I am so tired that I keep falling asleep as I study.

hence I have been very tired about many many things and I feel so weary, bitter and burnt out despite all that I've received in conference and NYC camp.

but that's going to turn around. and I know that even when life sucks so much, God is always good. Slowly, one by one. God will turn it around. I only need to keep holding on to Him. :)

I have some nice moments and rests this week as I recover. :) Cooking and eating breakfast with jingying, lunch with ing and rei, studying at cat socrates with rei, receiving mummy's text telling me to take care and not be stressed (actually she knew all along, i was so touched I teared when I read), making jellyfish for tomorrow's hopekids event. :) I thank God for all of it.

I am going to sleep now :) I haven't done my tutorial and studied my french and japanese. but one by one. I only need to keep holding on to Him. :)

Tomorrow is a day out with the kids! :D
and on Sunday, all afternoon and night is for studying only. :)
massu pretty

mary or martha?

Luke 10:41-42

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”


honestly, I think I have been having the martha syndrome. :( you see, there are so many things that needs to be done! and if I were to not do it, what if nobody did? some tasks are entrusted to me, others can only be done by me because I have the materials, and others are initiated by me, so its only right that I do it. But I am getting really tired here, and I have been compromising on Quiet time and I hate it. :(

And I think why I am tired is because I haven't been spending enough time with God.

But you see, I am finding it very hard to find the balance between mary and martha. I mean, I can't just throw away my responsibilities. then I appear without my work done then what am I to say? "Oh, I needed to sit at the feet of Jesus..." then everyone can just say that to get out of their responsibilities.

Yet I can't go on like this, like martha. I'll get angry and bitter. At God even.
God, help me!

And I just wasted time to type this. But I figured this would take lesser time than to pen it on to my journal. besides, I still need to find something on the internet.

Dear God, my prayer is that you help me to remember what is the one important thing, and that is to be near to you. I know that you hear every single word of my prayer and I know that you are always there and that all I need is to draw near to You. I apologise for the times I didn't, simply because I was so tired and just wanted to sleep. God, please give me strength to finish all the tasks entrusted to me. Please also grant me wisdom to properly understand my school work that I am getting a bit stressed of. I know that You mean me well, always. Keep me close to You and be my strength, God.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. :)
And God? Thank you for letting me get Forensic Science this morning. :) Love You.
massu confused thinking

Honestly;

I am feeling superbly stressed right now. :( God, I hate this, I feel so cluttered and distracted by so many things! Suddenly there is so much I need to do, so much I need to read, prepare, gather, write, buy, make, pray for, study, listen, ask, understand! @.@

There are so many things clamoring for my attention and I wish I can shut them all up. I need time to be still.




I think I have fallen in love with rain. actually, I have always loved rain but I never admitted it. I love rain simply because its cold. of course, I don't like it when I have to walk in it. but I love being indoors when it rains. i am very happy that today i wore my m&m's sweater. teehee! :D I am also very happy that nihongo lessons are with amanda once again! its the best to be in nihongo lesson with a friend. :} so thank God for amanda! :D

okay mila, one by one, slowly.
but it feels better to let it out. :)

eventually, mila will
"dance! dance! dance in Your freedom,
Oh Your glorious freedom,
Forevermore, forevermore"
:D

yes, I know I will. :) so stop clamoring for my attention everything, for my God will back me up and I will face you one by one. and stop putting negative thoughts in my mind and heart, satan. for God will get you like how many times He had when you play your stupid tricks on His children. hmph.
tegomasu baka mitai

Turn it Around! :)

and today marks the end of the 1st week of school! :) though it started with a messy and epic phail first day (went to school to find out there is no lesson for French this week, and yes! I am taking French this sem and I am very excited to learn French, heh!), it has ended pretty well and I had a very nice friday. :) teehee!



I've always loved this picture! I think massu looks really good with glasses, honestly. heh!

today started with egg mayo subway with heydi before going for 202 lecture, and gosh, 202 is challenging! it's full of new concepts and things I've never heard before. o.o so I'm really going to need to study the textbook properly. I think God was very good to me though! In camp, I responded that I want to be able to reach out to international students, because being one myself (despite being in Singapore for so long, LOL) I know how it feels to be an international student! And I really wanted to apply the 4 basic steps of reaching out to the city! And today, I was given an opportunity be a blessing to others! I managed to make friends with an exchange student and I was able to be a blessing to him by teaching him how to print notes and showing him where to buy textbooks. YAYY! and God knows how I don't like to make friends :x LOL. And who knows, maybe he will be won by God and when he goes back to london (british-born vietnamese! with nice british accent! LOL), he might be God's warrior! ;D

Yesterday's LG was really awesome too. We were doing Hall Evax by knocking on people's doors and then blessing them with an article of "fruits of the spirits" and an apple. Basically we only say fruits of the spirits and openly say that we are from Hope church but the article was mainly to help them deal with pressures of daily life. Honestly, I was super scared and I didn't want to do it at all, LOL. But then somehow, by God's strength I was there in LG and the first door we knocked... She was a Christian, and the daughter of missionaries in Thailand! :D :D And she seemed so blessed and encouraged by what we're doing, she even showed interest to join us in the future! And and and, she is also looking for a church to attend, so perhaps, she might come and join us. :D We prayed for her cause she is hoping to change her course! After meeting her, I was so encouraged that I no longer fear as I knocked on other doors. :) And God blessed us alright, we met such friendly and responsive, willing-to-make-friends people! :D YAYY! And a lot of them are international students from Malaysia! LOL!

God has been really awesome, don't you think? :D

And I went to 207 lecture with jingying today and you know what? I kinda like 207! :D Professor Yip speaks with a cute hk accent and he's always adding funny personal comments, hahhaha! And its actually rather interesting, the financial system is definitely more interesting than isoquant curves and isocosts and future consumption functions! lol. Professor Tan (202) is a good lecturer though, just that he assumes we understand all and goes soooo fast! D: Must self-study! And I will shamelessly consult if I need to. YOSH!

Jingying invited me to dinner at her house, and that's how this school week ended so lovely. :) Jingying's mummy's honey baked chicken and potato was superbly delicious!!

Tomorrow is a full day, hoho! I am going to go off now and hang my laundry (should be done by now). This weekend's theme is Vintage 1950s, as inspired by Justina's 21st Birthday Party. WOOHOO! :D

おやちゅみ !! ♥
massu confused thinking

またお久しぶりね?

okay and so this livejournal is making a comeback once again, hahaha. i am really not faithful in blogging am I? well that's because I know that very berry little people read this anyway and so that's why I hardly blog. but yes, milalalami.livejournal.com is making a comeback with a new layout, hurray! :D



scan credits to inala :D

September's Wink Up is my inspiration for a bright and happy layout, hahhaha. not that I was the one who created this layout, lol. but I am really happy with this bright and happy layout, yayy! :D
layout credits to okimiyage :D

this week is the start of the new semester and here I am, a year 2 student! honestly, I am a bit scared, because there is econometrics to deal with and you know how I am with math. its going to be difficult pulling my pathetic (aww, don't comfort me, you don't know how terrible it is!) GPA up. but I am not going to lose hope. with God on my side, i'm not going to lose yo. I am going to do do well and pull up my GPA. in future, I will be able to go for exchange and I will graduate with a good GPA. :) not by my own strength though, i know how unsmart I am. haha! :D

okay, the commercial is over, back to my weekly dosage of Glee! :D
I seriously loveee Glee, but I prefer season 1 since there is more Kurt, hahhaha.
Yea, my favourite character is Kurt! ;D

おやちゅみ!♥
massu pretty

HI

Hello, I am almost to lazy to revive this journal. AHAHA.
but I am too bored now so here I am. :)
currently in Indonesia now, haha.

Much has happened since my last post, LOL.
Well, that goes without saying since its been 5 months isn't it?
  • Current Music
    New Studio Ghibli Movie's Theme Song
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massu is pretty

どうぞよろしくおねがいします!:D

Photobucket

This is Masuda Takahisa and I think he is ♥
By the way, the name is Mila Ariel Palamita. :D

Mila Ariel is a Child of God, and proud and happy to be one. :D She doesn't deny though, that it can get pretty tough at times. But she loves Jesus who loves her very much too and so she tries her best to be a good Christian and make him happy. :) Mila Ariel is a weird person who likes to be alone but hates to be lonely. She doesn't need to be lonely though, cause the Holy Spirit is good companion who she can call on 24/7. She has few close friends who she loves and cherish and stupidly (and unspiritually D: hey, at least she is honest!) wishes to marry Masuda Takahisa though the probability is zero. HAHAHA. She likes NEWS and Japan very much too! ♥ Its her dream to bring smiles and joy to people but is pretty unsure how yet, and wishes to help AIDS patients and offer them hope to live on with the gospel of God. :D Oh and she likes food a lot, is a dessert addict and wishes to be a good cook/baker and would love to cook for you if you want. Isn't she nice? :D

banner credits to pulangpagong
  • Current Music
    The Four Seasons (Winter) 1. Allegro Non Molto - Vivaldi
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